The Best of the School Lunch Menu, Part I: MEATBALLS! MEATBALLS!! MEATBALLS!!!

Around the time of our triumphant return to Ohio, Luke and I stumbled upon a rather glorious idea; an idea too exciting, heartwarming, and tasty-sounding to pass up.  We also realize that due to our prolonged absence, we managed to miss the anniversary of this fine blog's formation.  We are therefore retroactively declaring a prolonged Conquista-holiday!! And with it, a prolonged theme for the next few entries, similar to our Soup Month! (except we're not sure how long we can milk this thing, so we're not calling it a "month," per se.)

The theme, as you have probably divined from this post's title, is "The Best of the School Lunch Menu."  Surely you remember it*: there you are, sitting in class about to break for lunch. You lean across the desk to your friend and ask if he remembers what's for lunch today. "Uhh, I think it's walking tacos." And just like that, DING! Your day is suddenly that much brighter!
*Note: If you don't remember it, just trust us. It's good stuff.

The first item to be tackled (lovingly) was the humble meatball sub.  In true Conquistador fashion, we happened to find a bag full of precooked meatballs in the freezer, so we got some nice big Italian steak rolls on our next grocery visit.  Most houses usually have some tomato sauce of some kind sitting around (we used an 8oz can); apart from seasoning for your sauce, these three components are really all you need.  I regret that we did not make the meatballs ourselves.  It wouldn't have been difficult, but like I said, we used what we had.

The only part of this creation that really required any "cooking" was the sauce, so that is where we urge you to incorporate your own unique style and choice of seasoning.  It just so happens that our style usually involves Buffalo sauce. With a few pinches of sugar, several shakes of grated parmesan cheese, some ground black pepper and some Italian seasoning, our sauce turned out quite zesty indeed. 

Assembly of this meal probably doesn't need to be explained, but I will do so anyway.  Place some provolone slices in your buns and lightly toast them. (We used a toaster oven on the "keep warm" function.)  Once your sauce has been seasoned and heated, plop a few meatballs in your sauce pot and roll them around until they are nice and coated.  Place the meatballs in your sub(s); our steak rolls held four meatballs each.  Finally, spoon out the sauce that remains onto the meatballs, drenching them in zesty saucy goodness.  Here is a brief overview of our course of action:

1. Heat meatballs.
2. Mix and heat spices and sauce in saucepan.
3. Add a slice of provolone to each sub and lightly toast.
4. Combine.
5. Consume.

As you can see by the expression of sheer euphoria, the subs were quite a success.  We made them in the space of about 20 minutes, and the ingredients were not difficult to come by at all.  I would highly recommend this to anyone to make at any time; it's an exceedingly simple and supremely satisfying meal, and there is even some room for experimentation in the seasoning of the sauce.

Be prepared for the next exciting installment!  Seeing as we are bound by the unbreakable Conquistador Code of Secrecy, we cannot reveal what we're planning for our next venture.  Fortunately, the Code mentions nothing about leaving big obvious hints:

Le Torpille du Matin

The two intrepid adventurers awoke today with a fire in their hearts; it wasn't heartburn, but rather a strange, foreign feeling, known to some as "ambition." Armed with this new and different sensation, the Treu brothers readily descended upon their first task - a Breakfast of Champions that wasn't Wheaties. And thus, the Culinary Conquistadors set out on their first epic quest: breakfast.

Anyways... I'm Matty, and this morning we had our first experience in investigative cooking. Since this is the first time we've done this, we thought it would be suitable to start with breakfast; or maybe we were just excited to try this. Whatever the case, we found ourselves at the kitchen counter with a baguette, a loaf of sourdough, lots of salami, some eggs, and various cheeses. We decided that whatever we made, it would have to include egg - Luke is a self-proclaimed egg-frying champion. After a little brainstorming and bad ideas, we came up with a good one; a breakfast sub of sorts, made from a baguette.

It was the baguette that prompted the name for our creation: Le Torpille du Matin (The Morning Torpedo.) Despite its delightfully suggestive nature, it seemed pretty promising.

Ingredients:

• Baguette (about 4 inches for 1 person)
• 1 fried egg
• 2-3 slices Genoa salami (interchangable)
• 1-2 slices Provolone cheese (interchangable)
• Spices: we made one with oregano and one with paprika to compare, but use whatever you like.
• Butter
  

Directions:

1. Put some butter in a non-stick frying pan, and fry that egg. Our resident egg-frying expert, Luke, says not to bust the yolk too much when flipping. He also highly endorses salt and pepper on the egg.
2. Turn your piece o' baguette on its side and slice it down the middle, like a sub. Butter the inside of the baguette.
3. Put on the salami slices first, then the cheese. Apparently putting it on the bottom lets out the flavor or something.
4. Sprinkle on your choice of spices; we used oregano on one and paprika on the other. The oregano was much easier to taste we thought, but don't be afraid to experiment. Remember that this sandwich will taste pretty mild, and the flavor will pretty much be determined by what spice you add and how much.
5. Optional But Recommended: toast or bake it for a little while to melt the cheese and release the salami juices. Mmm, salami juices.
6. Add your egg to the sandwich, and poke the yolk to release eggy goodness. Eat.
   

Thoughts

When we made this, our portions were about 6 inches long. We soon realized that this was probably way too much, and we now recommend not making much more than 4 inches; it's a lot of food, you'd be surprised. Just because you can eat 12 inches of Subway does not mean you can eat 12 inches of egg.

Matty - Tastes like you would expect; it's pretty mild. I would recommend you go a little on the heavier side in terms of spices, for flavor. I wouldn't suggest much more than 4 inches; this is very filling.

Luke - Pretty mild, but good. Could substitute a harder salami or ham I suspect. Perhaps we could have used more pepper or salt on the eggs. Agreed, very filling.

Final Thoughts: Was it worth it?

M - It was interesting and exotic, so I'd recommend doing it once, but I don't know if I'd make one again... If you have the time on your hands, then it's probably worth it. Flavor-wise it was mild, but that's how breakfast is supposed to be; the flavor is really controlled by what spice you put on and how much of it. It was definitely fun though, to pretend to be Subway-God.

L - Pretty much what Matty said. More spices = more flavor, keep that in mind, and perhaps combine it with some fruit for additional sweetness.

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All-in-all, our first creation turned out to be a success, and there were no casualties along the way. Once again, we will be the first to admit that we are inexperienced, so experiment with our experiment. I have just realized that I'm pretty much writing a book here, so I'm gonna call it a day. We'll be back with more exciting adventures into the world of delicious. Tune in next time, same bat-time, same bat-...blog?