Fried K-sausage?

This, my friends, is my first post as a legitimate Conquistador but some of you may remember me as the man who brought you the "This Salad Don't Run" Hotdog Salad. Ironically enough, my first real project, a sort of impromptu idea as most all of our ideas are, again dealt with completely processed beef, prepared in a pan with the potentiality for usage on a grill. It was not complicated. It was not very unique. In general, it was not very great. Unless you really like hotdogs and want to try something different from your average cylinder of packed meat. We took a large roll of Hebrew National "Beef Salami", which was much more like Hebrew National "Processed Balogna", and decided that it was pretty bad so why not fry it?

We took an adorable little egg pan, put a slab of regular butter in it on the stove on medium to high temperature, and threw a piece of this salami on top. Within minutes, it began to brown a bit and smell a whole lot like a hotdog. After flipping a few times, it was done and ready to be tried. In my opinion, it was really just a big slice of hotdog with much more of a salty and flavorful nature than your average ball park frank. The salty nature of this food becomes an issue though, as in recent news, sodium has been under attack by health experts as one of the major factors which makes the childhood obesity (and adulthood obesity rate for that matter) constantly on the rise in America. In today's issue of TIME magazine, I came across the statistic that a single Hebrew National Jumbo hotdog will take up over 1/3 of the recommended daily value of sodium of an average person, at just over 2,300mg per dog. Really, the fact that I noticed a definite increase in sodium taste, which makes this slab of meat much more delicious than if it were not packed with salt, just makes this dish one more fatty snack to try. In general, not amazing. Just a fat hotdog. mmm.

This Salad Don't Run.

America.

A lush utopia where freedom is freer*, bison roam the plains**, and a global melting pot exists to better the lives of immigrants from around the entire world***. American is SO awesome that it takes the name of two whole continents to represent one country! The other countries to the north and south seem to understand.
*Yes it is possible. **In significantly diminished numbers. *** This probably isn't true

It is only in the U.S. of A. that a salad like the one you are about to be introduced to could truly be realized. Is it because of the abounding ingenuity in this country? Is it because the Culinary Conquistadors (also borrowing* a name from South America) have unparalleled experience in the world of food preparation? No, believe it or not, neither is the case... it is because America has one more thing that other countries yearn for.
*No we won't pay you for it

Hot dogs.
Yes!! Believe it! We have created the Spicy Hotdog Salad!
How marvelous! Stupendous! What glory could a hotdog salad possibly contain??

Well, I'll tell you.

The story starts, of course, with my discovery of the Angus Beef Hotdog.

Yes, it's capitalized. The most fascinating of the hotdog species, the angus beef dog is the king of weiners. You may think that all hot dogs are the same. If this is the case, please eat a Bar S hot dog and then an angus beef Ballpark frank and come back with a written apology. There are some foods in this world that truly are indistinguishable when it comes to quality. An organic onion and a regular onion, for example, may taste quite similar. Hot dogs, given their somewhat... unsavory nature, tend to vary quite significantly in this respect. We decided to use the best for our creation, and we suggest you do the same.

Torry, the 18 year old of the Treu sons, stood in for Matty in his continued absence and was the champion griller of these beauties; I handled the salad-portion. If you wish to create this healthy* dish yourself, you need only compile the following ingredients**.
*It does not actually follow that simply because something is a salad, it will make you healthy. ** This should make a meal for ~3 people.

- 1 pack of angus beef hotdogs (we used Ballpark)
- pine nuts (optional)
- shredded cheddar cheese
- shredded pepper jack cheese
- genoa salami (you knew it had to make an appearance)
- diced red onion
- American Mix salad (or could compile your own greens)
- 5 Lettuce Mix (see above comment)
- Yellow heirloom (?) tomato
- Tobasco green pepper sauce (can substitute vinaigrette if you dislike mildly spicy dishes)

The first step is to shred your cheese / dice some red onion and tomato if it hasn't been done previously. Also take some salami slices and cut them into 1" x 1/2" strips. The amount you add is up to you - we used 4 slices of salami and maybe 1/4 of the tomato and onion. Take your lettuce / salad mixes, place them in a large salad bowl. The American Mix consists of iceberg lettuce, shredded carrots, and slices of radish, the 5 Lettuce Mix is fairly self-explanatory. The order of adding ingredients from this point on is mostly arbitrary: add your tomato, onion, both cheeses, salami, and pine nuts. At this point you may want to give your salad a preliminary tossing to mix it up.

Take your hot dogs, we used 6 for the salad (and may have eaten the others) and grill them. Once they are finished, slice them into 1/2" or so segments and toss them in the salad. Finally, take a bottle of green pepper sauce (you may know this at the green sauce from Chipotle) and splash it alllllll over your salad. seriously we used like 1/4 of a bottle. It is a mild sauce so it never gets overwhelmingly spicy regardless of volume. Finally, do another thorough salad tossing, now with all ingredients.

Eat.

The wonderful think about America is it is full of lazy people! Or is that the not-so wonderful thing? I forget. Either way, this salad requires minimal cooking and skill to create, so really anyone can make it. We hope you do. It was unanimously agreed that it was delicious, and was definitely something new. So next time you are out of hot dog buns, consider a salad version. You'll likely trick yourself into believing that you are eating healthily and will surely enjoy it.

Le Torpille du Matin

The two intrepid adventurers awoke today with a fire in their hearts; it wasn't heartburn, but rather a strange, foreign feeling, known to some as "ambition." Armed with this new and different sensation, the Treu brothers readily descended upon their first task - a Breakfast of Champions that wasn't Wheaties. And thus, the Culinary Conquistadors set out on their first epic quest: breakfast.

Anyways... I'm Matty, and this morning we had our first experience in investigative cooking. Since this is the first time we've done this, we thought it would be suitable to start with breakfast; or maybe we were just excited to try this. Whatever the case, we found ourselves at the kitchen counter with a baguette, a loaf of sourdough, lots of salami, some eggs, and various cheeses. We decided that whatever we made, it would have to include egg - Luke is a self-proclaimed egg-frying champion. After a little brainstorming and bad ideas, we came up with a good one; a breakfast sub of sorts, made from a baguette.

It was the baguette that prompted the name for our creation: Le Torpille du Matin (The Morning Torpedo.) Despite its delightfully suggestive nature, it seemed pretty promising.

Ingredients:

• Baguette (about 4 inches for 1 person)
• 1 fried egg
• 2-3 slices Genoa salami (interchangable)
• 1-2 slices Provolone cheese (interchangable)
• Spices: we made one with oregano and one with paprika to compare, but use whatever you like.
• Butter
  

Directions:

1. Put some butter in a non-stick frying pan, and fry that egg. Our resident egg-frying expert, Luke, says not to bust the yolk too much when flipping. He also highly endorses salt and pepper on the egg.
2. Turn your piece o' baguette on its side and slice it down the middle, like a sub. Butter the inside of the baguette.
3. Put on the salami slices first, then the cheese. Apparently putting it on the bottom lets out the flavor or something.
4. Sprinkle on your choice of spices; we used oregano on one and paprika on the other. The oregano was much easier to taste we thought, but don't be afraid to experiment. Remember that this sandwich will taste pretty mild, and the flavor will pretty much be determined by what spice you add and how much.
5. Optional But Recommended: toast or bake it for a little while to melt the cheese and release the salami juices. Mmm, salami juices.
6. Add your egg to the sandwich, and poke the yolk to release eggy goodness. Eat.
   

Thoughts

When we made this, our portions were about 6 inches long. We soon realized that this was probably way too much, and we now recommend not making much more than 4 inches; it's a lot of food, you'd be surprised. Just because you can eat 12 inches of Subway does not mean you can eat 12 inches of egg.

Matty - Tastes like you would expect; it's pretty mild. I would recommend you go a little on the heavier side in terms of spices, for flavor. I wouldn't suggest much more than 4 inches; this is very filling.

Luke - Pretty mild, but good. Could substitute a harder salami or ham I suspect. Perhaps we could have used more pepper or salt on the eggs. Agreed, very filling.

Final Thoughts: Was it worth it?

M - It was interesting and exotic, so I'd recommend doing it once, but I don't know if I'd make one again... If you have the time on your hands, then it's probably worth it. Flavor-wise it was mild, but that's how breakfast is supposed to be; the flavor is really controlled by what spice you put on and how much of it. It was definitely fun though, to pretend to be Subway-God.

L - Pretty much what Matty said. More spices = more flavor, keep that in mind, and perhaps combine it with some fruit for additional sweetness.

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All-in-all, our first creation turned out to be a success, and there were no casualties along the way. Once again, we will be the first to admit that we are inexperienced, so experiment with our experiment. I have just realized that I'm pretty much writing a book here, so I'm gonna call it a day. We'll be back with more exciting adventures into the world of delicious. Tune in next time, same bat-time, same bat-...blog?